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...and I will. If a story is good, it shouldn't matter where you start. There are quite a few books that I had started reading beginning to finish because I started in the middle of the book and got hooked. You also cannot control your critics, nor should you attempt to. Stop making excuses and don't tell them how to critique your work.

Now for my critique. In all, this was about as interesting as a history textbook. The art is bland and cluttered, the character designs are unimaginative (learn to draw more hairstyles than Cousin-It-in-a-wind-tunnel), the pacing and timing is all off, and the dialogue and story are cliche and not really well-written. Writers are told to "show, not tell." This is all the more important in a visual medium such as film and animation. If a character has emotions, show it through their actions, their posture, their facial expressions, don't just have them announce it through dialogue. Dialogue - that's what all this was, wasn't it? You had a script of what everyone was going to say, but how much did you put into setting, and characters interacting in that setting? How much was put into what the characters were thinking, but didn't say? Their interactions in the environment you wrote them in?

And since this is the internet, I would like to stress that the tone of this review is not in an angry, hateful, or sarcastic tone.

September 13, 2008

Author's Response:

You're entitled to your opinion. I don't ever compare my actual novel writing to any of my writing for the flash as I limit everything on the flash do to me still getting accustomed to it. Yes, I agree with you on the emotions and the interaction. I intend to go that extra mile with the next one. You can think it's cliche if you want, it doesn't matter to me. Not everyone is into this type of story and that's fine. I don't mind people critiquing as long as it's thought out and meaningful rather than "hey, this isn't good". So, no, I didn't find this as sarcastic or hateful.

I do this for fun and I don't expect everyone to like it. But I wanted to animate something relatively based on my novels. So, for having no training, and just jumping into this, I am content with how this one came out regardless of what people said. Considering with how the first episode came out, I am more than happy with the constant improvement. So needless to say I will apply everything you mentioned in terms of emotion with the next one.

Personally, I wait til the story is finished to judge one, because you can't possibly know what is going on, where it is going and what underlying symbolism is there from reading or watching one segment.

Either way I thank you for taking the time to write a review, and I wish you luck with your animations and the career you're pursuing.

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Score: 9

"Entertaining"

submission: AMIG0

date: September 5, 2008

Saying that this was too much like "Wall-E" is like saying that frozen yogurt is too much like ice cream.

September 5, 2008

Author's Response:

Mmmmm... Ice cream....

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Score: 10

"The Story of Khale:"

submission: 1 - The Story of Khale

date: April 4, 2007

'Twas a bit chubby as a lad,
and thus he was teased quite bad,
they had called him 'Khale the Whale.'

Silliness aside, that was very good, graphically. It was lacking a story, though I assume that will be covered in the next episodes. I'll be looking forward to seeing how this develops.